Cairo, the 7th December, 2010

You go to my head...

"You go to my head

With a smile that makes my temperature rise

Like a summer with a thousand Julys

You intoxicate my soul with your eyes..."

Piece of text taken from Billie Holiday's song "You go to my head"

As it is with love, the same with DANCE.

As it is with LIFE, the same with DANCE.

Music goes to my head and intoxicates my soul, just like the eyes of a dear lover.

Some dancers manage to be really (bad) actors though I try to LIVE on stage what I LIVE in my LIFE and only this way I can be honest and REAL in my ART.

Music goes to my head "like a summer with a thousand Julys" the same way my man does...a sunny day blooming in front of me and warm cupcakes cooked by my mum.

It's really all the same...

Cairo, the 8th December, 2010

Choose your battles!!!

Living in Egypt is an extreme experience, I 've mentioned it several times. If you're an educated foreigner with values and a brain of your own living, working and creating between egyptians and arabs for four intense, crazy years (as it happens in my case), then the challenge rises up to the point of being considered a TRUE BATTLE designed not for the weak of heart.

Add to that an unwillingness to compromise what I think it's right and wrong and my own dignity as a woman while working in an environment which deals with women -and dancers, in particular- as prostitutes who will do just anything to get what they want and you have the perfect equation for madness or an incredible stamina that will put me through "Judgment Day", the "Invasion of the Martians" and the potential "End of the World".

I've survived Egypt with my body and soul untouched by all the dirtiness and lack of humanity so I can survive anything....

Between the many things Egypt has taught me, here are two of them:

1. How to be a warrior.

2. How to choose your battles.

How to be a warrior is something I already had inside me. No one really taught me that one and it all comes down to survival and inteligence (everyone wants to be happy so our choices should go towards that happiness...it sounds kind of logical to me!).

How to choose your battles is a more delicete subject because it was not always clear the things and people that were WORTH my effort, my stamina, my qualities and my BATTLING.

I've learnt that, very often, we do not distinguish the battles that are worth fighting in and the ones which do not deserve our attention, much less our efforts and battling.

Thanks to Egypt and to several face breaking episodes, I have learnt when it's time to choose my battles and HOW TO CHOOSE the ones that have enough QUALITY for me and for the GRANDIOSITY I wish to have in my LIFE.

And my LIFE is BIG so...here I am, thanking Egypt, and choosing the direction of my swords.

P.S. And how amazing can WOMEN be while doing all this in high heels and nice pink/red lipstick?

Gorgeous and fierce, honey! ALWAYS!!!

Cairo, the 8th December, 2010

Shokry Mohamed (will always remember you...)

Shokry Mohamed was a delightful nubian soul who happened to be the only Oriental Dance teacher I ever studied with continuously for a long period of time (after him, only Mahmoud Reda fit this description but in a totally different way).
I had already started dancing at the age of 5 doing the whole Classical Ballet Conservatoire thing, the promenades through other dances (modern, jazz, african, flamenco, you name it!) but he was the ONE who made me really discover and fall in love with Oriental Dance. He was pure magic, a wizard of movement, a sage disguised in simplicity and playfulness.


He was my long term teacher, the one who taught me the bases of Oriental Dance and the importance of being humble, simple and always searching for your heart and soul through dance.

He was also the one who "guessed" I would be a professional Oriental Dancer in Egypt and enjoy the success God has given me. I didn't believe him at the time (actually I thought he was a bit crazy as I was already an actress and it didn't cross my mind to practice dance professionaly...how little did I know, huh?!).

It was also with Shokry that I made my first visit to Egypt and had my first classes in this country, watched my first shows and saw the Nile for the first time.
It seems Shokry was my "first time" everything kind of man.

And how I miss my dear teacher and the way he laughed at me calling me "hurricane"...
I miss his smooth face while he danced (always peaceful and naughty) and his black, gorgeous hands moving into the "nay" music, floating like an eagle in the sky.
I miss his remarks and tough love on me. I miss the way he told me once (and once was enough!): " Always believe in yourself."

Is there any bigger treasure you can give to a person than believing in them and making them believe in themselves?!
I know no other jewel bigger than this.

And he's the one I remember in times when everything in me it's put to the test.
I hear his whisper in my ear: " Always believe in yourself."

Thank you, dear teacher (I still use the same "Panchavati" incense you used to burn in our Spain classes).

P.S. I miss you.

Cairo, the 7th December, 2010

The power of being taken for granted or under appreciated!

It has been an incredible, heart cracking journey since I first arrived to Egypt.

I learnt, for instance, that a beautiful woman who does not use that trumph for her own profit ends up being punished for that beauty (what's a gift from God becomes a curse).

I learnt that business women and smart bitches get their way much easier than Artists and are respected as being "strong like men" while honesty and kindness is seen as a feminine (negatively speaking), weak side of people.

I also learnt that being taken for stupid (as it often happens with me) or seen as smooth or weak (simply because you don't have a rich guy on your back) can work in your advantage. To coronate this thought, here's something I heard and really tickled the strings of my soul:

"You see, that's when I realized the power of being under appreciated."

Told by Quincy Jones to Oprah when commenting on the time he wanted to bring the movie "Colour Purple" to life and no one believed he could.

And he did. And he got an incredible casting (including Oprah) and director (Steven Spielberg) to make it happen.And the movie turned into multi-winner Oscar all time classic.

And that's what I call the power of being under appreciated. :)

Cairo, the 7th December, 2010





Christmas time in Cairo (early start) and making WISHES (that will come true!)

Although Cairo - and all Egypt - is predominantly muslim (the thousands of mosques and the omnipresent recital of the Holy Koran taken to madness extents are live proof of that!) no dignified egyptian would loose the opportunity to chat with you about Christmas (or any other subject important or totally insignificant) or make business out of you and Christmas!

Therefore...Jingle (or Jungle?! I am confused...;) Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Rock!

Christmas has arrived to Cairo early on. Zamalek is full of trees and props to turn any home into a Papa Noel heaven. As I will be working during all Christmas and Oriental Dance mood has little to do with Christmas mood, I will pass it on as a distant reminder of what my family is celebrating in Portugal in the warmth of our family home.

Just because I am not celebrating Christmas in the usual, traditional way it doesn't mean that I don't make my WISHES.

And just because Wishes do not always come true, I believe that some of them DO.

And they will (I wrote a short but VIP letter to Santa Claus this year and I've been a great girl...not good...just great so I KNOW he heard my requests and North Pole is only a corner away from my home).

Under the invisible Christmas tree I got to my Cairo home, there will lay the gifts I asked HIM!

Thanks, Santa Claus. You're the best (I say this while pulling his beard to check if it's for real)

Cairo, the 7th December, 2010

Make my day!

I know this sounds corny but watching two little

birds playing around at the entrance of my building this morning has made my day and filled my heart with such peace and pure joy...nothing and no one could have had the impact these two little creatures had on me on this particularly cloudy morning.

I am a sucker for these childish things. Only me and little kids notice them and I get startled looks all the time from the adults who consider me a bit of a lunatic to stop in the middle of a street to stare at the beauty of a butterfly or the sexy movements of a cat.

Then again...who cares?

C'mon...

I am an Oriental Dancer performing and living in Egypt for 4 years, non stop!

No egyptian manager/pimp/husband covering my back (and sucking away great part of my money plus having me in bed!) or "pasha" seducing schemes to have my things done. It has been me with myself against the world and yet I am perceived as a man eater tramp simply because I am a " RAKASAH"!!!

Oh, Lord, give me strenght (and patience to all levels and depths of stupidity)!

That says lots of things about me and one of them is, for sure, that I am totally indifferent to other people's opinion on me (if I happened to be the opposite, I would have turned into a vampire after all the prejudices and sexual remarks/approaches I get due to my particular career!).

Away from the risk of seeming like a coo-coo gone kind of dancer, I admit my total fascination and surrender to a corny moment like this: two simple birds playing with electricity wires at the entrance of my building.

I smiled, breathed deeply, felt truly happy and sure that everything will not only be ok but it's ALREADY GREAT, just as it is (no illusions included).

Cairo, the 7th December, 2010

Feeling lucky!

From the deepest disappointments, great amounts of wisdom and clear vision can arise.

When we're able to watch everything around us crumbling down as a spectator of his/her own life and from that destruction build new castles, then we're always winners (no matter how many times we get hit by thunderbolts and turmoil).

The lights explode (dear evil eye, from where did you come from so strong this time?!) and the washing machine stopped working at home, I get yet another knive on my back from a friend and a once trusted co-worker, the men in my profession keep on sexually harassing me and punishing me dearly for not giving in into their plans, I have been sick and nauseated for the last few days (something so rare in me), Winter is here to stay (hate the cold and the absence of sun) and the last Nile fed vegetables I bought to cook were rotten .

The political elections are on in Egypt and the awful psychopat photos of the candidates pollute the already messy landscape of Cairo (how ugly and scary can these guys get???) while my mind and heart get polluted by constant disappointments coming from people around me (both in my personal and my professional lives) and yet...yet...I see the light and feel more peaceful than ever.

My favourite dancing dress is ruined - was ruined in the last wedding I did a couple of days ago - and I got my also favourite earrings lost. "No problem..." It could always be worse...

There's no sun in the sky and I struggle between the wish to fight back with all that I have and the rush to travel to India just to breath, to bath in the Ganga river near from the Hymalaias and drink my hot chai masala watching Bollywood movies and smelling the incense.

And yet...yet...I never felt so peaceful and in perfect bliss.

Go figure!

All seems dark and yet I have learnt that you should not give pearls to the pigs (they eat garbadge and will not recognize or appreciate a pearl...it's a totally wasted value) and that, indeed, you can always build amazing castles from the rocks you find in your way.