Cairo, the 12th September, 2010
Indecent proposal
(number...oh, whatever, who´s counting at this point, any ways?!)
Egypt has taught me many, many great things. Some of them are tough to swallow and others not so much but still they endanger my sense of self and all the certainties I had about what it means to be a HUMAN BEING.
No offense intended but I learnt that egyptians and arabs are made of different brain cells and their hearts and consciousness works in diametrically different ways than mine.
Egypt has taught me that not everyone has good intentions towards everybody else (Yes, I thought everyone had good intentions towards EVERYONE).
Egypt has taught me that not all hearts are used to feel. Many of them are only use to pump blood through a human body but no feeling of LOVE runs through it.
Egypt has taught me that people lie very easily and are often indifferent to other´s suffering.
Egypt has taught me that not everyone who says I LOVE YOU DOES REALLY love you. Many of them DON`T.
In my childish (perharps!) mind, no one would say I LOVE YOU to someone else, unless they felt it from their deepest place of the soul.
Yeah...I am a romantic and a fool, often a fool...:)
Egypt has also taught me that different cultures produce human beings with different behaviours and mentality and that applies, obviously, to ORIENTAL DANCE.
Yesterday shows were also exciting...I guess the exhaustion is working with me here and not against me (thanks God!). Yet, when I finished the first show of the night, I received another disturbing INDECENT PROPOSAL.
Notice that, as a dancer, I´ve received hundreds of indecent proposals in all shapes and forms.
If I went along in the game and were a little less honest, I would be living in a luxurious villa by the sea in Yucatan Peninsula (Mexico!!), lazy body hanging from a tree, puffing away the heat with my sombrero, covered in fresh tropical juice, guacamole and turquoise warm waters...
But I never, EVER went along in the game so...
Did I mention I am a fool?!
Oh, yeah. I did.
So, I am not in Mexico. I am right here, taking .....(use the dirty side of your imagination and fill in the blank) from a lot of really annoying people, testing my patience to the limits, working my ass off (excuse me for the free expression) and trying to be the best human being I can be (no matter how many times I am screwed in the back).
Yes, I am a fool.
(PERIOD).
.
When I finished my first show, I received the visit of a couple of egyptians who had been in the audience. I noticed how the man was showing me off to his wife/fianceé/whatever during the whole performance and how she nodded in approval while he talked in her ear about what they were watching.
Until here, all is normal. There are several men who bring their women to watch me dance (although I cannot define the reason why they do it).
They approached me in my backstage room and asked me if I could give a private course to the lady.
"An egyptian woman asking a foreigner to teach her ORIENTAL DANCE?" - Now THAT IS strange. Even if they cannot move a finger, egyptian women think they can dance like Souhair Zaki and better...it´s one of those misconceptions that drives me crazy!
So they started to explain. They are engaged and will marry soon and the man asked his fianceé if she could dance for him on their honey moon.
Until here, all is pretty regular too but "where am I in this honey moon equation?"
The explanation arrived.
I would be the one to instruct the lady how to dance and seduce her husband on their honeymoon.
"ME???" - I told them, in disbelief and a tremendous poker face. I could suggest the cleaning lady, the smily body guard, one of my musicians but...Me???
"Why me? I know nothing about dancing for a man and seducing him! Believe me, I never did it and I wouldn´t know how to do it.
I can teach you how to dance as I do to thousands of other women all over the world and then you use what you learn as you wish but I cannot teach you how to use dance to seduce your husband. "
They were startled. They just couldn´t believe that I didn´t accept being generously paied to teach the lady how to dance for her husband.
Sorry, folks. This is IT: Again and again I say that dance can be used in many ways that makee you and other people happy but dancing TO SEDUCE A MAN is something I know nothing about or prefer not to know.
Not my job. Not my interest. Not my area.
I am a teacher and a performer. Not a streap-teaser, a wedding adviser or an intimate relations therapist.
No, the lady was not interested if all I could do was to teach her how to dance. She wanted the WHOLE deal and I couldn´t match up with their expectations.
So this was the indecent proposal of the night.
After that, along came another show with several other women with tremendous fear that I would eat their men (not a new one, anyways)...
Dealing with the image Oriental Dancers carry is not easy, that´s for sure.
Egypt has also taught me to let go of everything and everyone, otherwise I would go mad.
Egypt has also taught me to throw in the garbadge what is not true or beautiful and that´s what I try to do , day by day.
Show by show.
Proposal by proposal.
(Still thinking about Mexico)...
Indecent proposal
(number...oh, whatever, who´s counting at this point, any ways?!)
Egypt has taught me many, many great things. Some of them are tough to swallow and others not so much but still they endanger my sense of self and all the certainties I had about what it means to be a HUMAN BEING.
No offense intended but I learnt that egyptians and arabs are made of different brain cells and their hearts and consciousness works in diametrically different ways than mine.
Egypt has taught me that not everyone has good intentions towards everybody else (Yes, I thought everyone had good intentions towards EVERYONE).
Egypt has taught me that not all hearts are used to feel. Many of them are only use to pump blood through a human body but no feeling of LOVE runs through it.
Egypt has taught me that people lie very easily and are often indifferent to other´s suffering.
Egypt has taught me that not everyone who says I LOVE YOU DOES REALLY love you. Many of them DON`T.
In my childish (perharps!) mind, no one would say I LOVE YOU to someone else, unless they felt it from their deepest place of the soul.
Yeah...I am a romantic and a fool, often a fool...:)
Egypt has also taught me that different cultures produce human beings with different behaviours and mentality and that applies, obviously, to ORIENTAL DANCE.
Yesterday shows were also exciting...I guess the exhaustion is working with me here and not against me (thanks God!). Yet, when I finished the first show of the night, I received another disturbing INDECENT PROPOSAL.
Notice that, as a dancer, I´ve received hundreds of indecent proposals in all shapes and forms.
If I went along in the game and were a little less honest, I would be living in a luxurious villa by the sea in Yucatan Peninsula (Mexico!!), lazy body hanging from a tree, puffing away the heat with my sombrero, covered in fresh tropical juice, guacamole and turquoise warm waters...
But I never, EVER went along in the game so...
Did I mention I am a fool?!
Oh, yeah. I did.
So, I am not in Mexico. I am right here, taking .....(use the dirty side of your imagination and fill in the blank) from a lot of really annoying people, testing my patience to the limits, working my ass off (excuse me for the free expression) and trying to be the best human being I can be (no matter how many times I am screwed in the back).
Yes, I am a fool.
(PERIOD).
.
When I finished my first show, I received the visit of a couple of egyptians who had been in the audience. I noticed how the man was showing me off to his wife/fianceé/whatever during the whole performance and how she nodded in approval while he talked in her ear about what they were watching.
Until here, all is normal. There are several men who bring their women to watch me dance (although I cannot define the reason why they do it).
They approached me in my backstage room and asked me if I could give a private course to the lady.
"An egyptian woman asking a foreigner to teach her ORIENTAL DANCE?" - Now THAT IS strange. Even if they cannot move a finger, egyptian women think they can dance like Souhair Zaki and better...it´s one of those misconceptions that drives me crazy!
So they started to explain. They are engaged and will marry soon and the man asked his fianceé if she could dance for him on their honey moon.
Until here, all is pretty regular too but "where am I in this honey moon equation?"
The explanation arrived.
I would be the one to instruct the lady how to dance and seduce her husband on their honeymoon.
"ME???" - I told them, in disbelief and a tremendous poker face. I could suggest the cleaning lady, the smily body guard, one of my musicians but...Me???
"Why me? I know nothing about dancing for a man and seducing him! Believe me, I never did it and I wouldn´t know how to do it.
I can teach you how to dance as I do to thousands of other women all over the world and then you use what you learn as you wish but I cannot teach you how to use dance to seduce your husband. "
They were startled. They just couldn´t believe that I didn´t accept being generously paied to teach the lady how to dance for her husband.
Sorry, folks. This is IT: Again and again I say that dance can be used in many ways that makee you and other people happy but dancing TO SEDUCE A MAN is something I know nothing about or prefer not to know.
Not my job. Not my interest. Not my area.
I am a teacher and a performer. Not a streap-teaser, a wedding adviser or an intimate relations therapist.
No, the lady was not interested if all I could do was to teach her how to dance. She wanted the WHOLE deal and I couldn´t match up with their expectations.
So this was the indecent proposal of the night.
After that, along came another show with several other women with tremendous fear that I would eat their men (not a new one, anyways)...
Dealing with the image Oriental Dancers carry is not easy, that´s for sure.
Egypt has also taught me to let go of everything and everyone, otherwise I would go mad.
Egypt has also taught me to throw in the garbadge what is not true or beautiful and that´s what I try to do , day by day.
Show by show.
Proposal by proposal.
(Still thinking about Mexico)...
1 comment:
There are lots of people that need to go to a very good psychologist to discover, first of all, what self esteem is, becouse the woman in question is about to marry a man that does not respect her and other women...
Every day, without knowing, we meet lots of bad people, some times they show us what they are...we just have not to allow them to turn us into something different of what we are and make as weaker, ....
You are an incredible beautiful person...when the anger is over, just feel pity for stupidity of the woman and go on living in your beautiful way
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