Blessed contrasts.

It is me, in these photos up here. I was very young but my tough side was already visible.

I was a smart kid with a taste for marginal people. My best friends were gipsies and africans from the portuguese ex-colonies. I was a favourite of the drug gangs of our neighburhood (cause I kicked the ass of boys if they ever messed with me, my sister or friends) but I was also the best student in my class.

No one knew WHERE to put me: the good girl or the bad girl?! Impossible to define.

Nature really knows what it does and so does God.

I was born with a water heart, extremely emotional to the point of melting at the slightest loving experience AND a mind of steel, tough as they come.

If my heart cries, my mind/head runs in its help, assisting it so that emotions don´t get me stuck in deep valleys of sorrow.

If my mind/head is interfering too much in the spaces of my Life when I am supposed to "just feel", then my heart rescues me, allowing me to LOVE with passion and total commitment.

This blessed contrast proved to be LIFE saving in Egypt. As a Dancer managing an orchestra and dealing with a hard, anti-human environment, I have to be tough most of the times, take care of the ones who I trust (or, simply, trusting no one) and keep my emotions to myself, hidden, sleeping, silent.

The moment I step on a stage there is an opposite side of me that is required: no more toughness, dry heart, authority. On stage, I have to be PURE emotion, PURE heart and those are the only authority tools I can use in this space.

The ones who only know my head, have no idea on how my heart is filled with honey. The ones who only know my heart, cannot imagine the tough cookie I transform myself into in order to survive in a male dominated work, society, mentality.

Kind of schizofrenic, I guess...but still great and useful.

I know wise people say the virtue is in the middle of reality but I never said I was wise. I am always between contrasts, blacks and whites, full YES or full NO.

I love or I hate. I don t please people. I give my smile to the ones I respect and appreciate and my "nothing" to the ones I don t respect.

I am not "nice" for the sake of being "nice", earning friends and enemies so very easily.

I cry while my head becomes stronger and pushes me forward.

I move on, while my heart is bleeding.

The sun and the moon are, permanently, dancing inside me. And I LOVE it...

Thanks, mother nature.