For someone as used to the stage as I am the periods of time I have to retreat in order to choreograph, prepare a specific event (workshops and performances in Eilat arriving this January) or write (restarting the final editing phase of my BOOK - temporarily aside due to my last European tour) I feel - to say the least - stressed, thirsty and with that* kind of sensation that tells me "something important is missing".
And yet - like any other circumstance life offers you - there´s a fat chance to take advantage of the moment and face my own demons. It´s boring, frustrating and true:
the more you know the more you are aware that you don´t know much and that puts you in the weird position of the eternal beginner.
As I start to choreograph new pieces to teach or think about upcoming performances I face - one more time - a series of ghosts that never leave my sight but I´ve also nailed the trick: one cannot fight against his/her own mind and its party poopers.
Insecurity? The feeling that what I´m doing is not good enough for my own standard and ever developing taste; the inner demand for something more - much MORE - exciting than anything I´ve done before and so forth. The array of voices that dance in my head while I TRY to dance my way into a new piece of choreography are multiple, colorful and VERY - potentially - EXCITING.
Joining hands with the ghosts and counting on their grumpy and ever present negativity in order to push me forward and higher.
Remember, babe: God gives you lemons, then you make a damn great lemonade.
No comments:
Post a Comment