On my way to Russia*

I fight not to allow boredom get the best of me. Here I am confessing: I´m an adrenaline freak; I´m a challenge addicted who instantly loses interest in something when comfort takes it; I´m the eternal Apprentice in Love and Awe for the blissful process of LEARNING. Once I stop surprising myself and learning; once challenges disappear and everything seems too easy; once others put me on a throne (well deserved when it comes to my profession), I tend to get bored and start to look for other interests that make me feel ALIVE.

 

I try not to forget - and it´s a permanent enterprise - how much work, talent, skills and courage took to get me where I am and I TRY* not to take my success for granted (because it´s not).

After sleeping what it seemed like an Eternity on the airplane, here I am at the airport in Moscow. No one seems to speak any language except Russian so I rely on my "Me Jane, You Tarzan" universal dialect and, somehow, make myself understood.

 

 

 Although I don´t like to confess it, I´m tired - maybe EMPTY is the best word to apply now. Non stop work, travels, two books written and edited (one in Portuguese and the other in English), new projects and DESIRES* and a sense of recovery from my Egyptian Journey. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: I now realize how exhausted and traumatized I was after deciding to leave Egypt (as a home and base for my work). Although I made things MY WAY and with all the dignity I dreamt for me and my career, the truth is that there is always a price to pay for your dreams. THAT* is now clearer than ever. And yet...life doesn´t stop just because you need to recover from War. Get a grip, put yourself together and rebalance yourself as you move ahead - these seem to be the most compassionate messages I get from my inner Voice. Following it and trying not to complain about SUCCESS*. :) It´s strange how we can be - despite appearances - more afraid of Success than of failure. Gosh, Humans are complicated!

A Naguib Mahfouz book on my hands and large - uncomfortable - airport chairs to try* to get some sleep until my next flight. Meanwhile, the Universe sends off its messages to make me SEE* how fortunate I am. I mean: REALLY.

The Roads have not been easy at all but, somehow, I´ve achieved everything I ever dreamt of and more. Above that, there is this often underestimated privilege of doing what I LOVE. Having the health, energy, opportunities (and faith from others, may them be Festival sponsors, students, fellow dancers I respect, audiences all over the world) and FIRE to make exactly what I was born to do. How can I even DARE to feel bored and exhausted?! How can I?!

Cure (lucidity) on the way.