Going...

Colette's painting circa 1896 by Jacques Humbert
"She's made of steel!"
She's simply "made of woman", and that's sufficient.
Loneliness...freedom...my pleasing and labourious work as a mime and dancer...my happy, tired muscles, the new concern (which relaxes me from the old one) of earning my own food, clothing and rent...all this immediately became my lot in life, but I also acquired a wild mistrust, a distaste for the milieu in which I had lived and suffered, a stupid fear of man, of men, and of women, too...A morbid need to be unaware of what was going on around me, (...)And another peculiarity took hold of me very quickly: I feel isolated and protected from my fellow human beings only when on stage - the barrier of the footlights keeping me safe from everybody..."

In "The Vagabond", by Colette

Any resemblance with my own reality is NOT a coincidence.;)

Curious to observe...

That the preparation that takes sitting down and writting my book, bit by bit, is very similar to the preparation I always do when preparing myself to:

Perform on stage;

Choreograph a new piece of music;

Practice yoga;

(making love :)))).

Somehow, I need candles and incense (relaxing light), lots of clean, fresh air, a good shower to make me feel fresh and ready to go to the moon...

yeah, that's pretty much it. Yet I think what do all of these things have in common to require the same preparation for them all?

Also curious to see that all of these same things produce equal feelings in me:

excitement, some strongly seated fears coming to the surface, a state of peace and a splash into the deep waters of my SOUL.

I guess that what they have all in common is the most beautiful cliché of all: LOVE.

Cairo, the 21st May, 2011

Stop!

My latest discovery: the body needs times of rest in order to assimilate all its creations and experiences.

Some times, the best dance exercize you can offer your body is sleep or a quiet time observing what happened to it in recent (or past) times...Listening to it, just listening.

No pushing and no action.

Oh, don t you all look so surprised...yes, this is a discovery for me, even if I always knew, theoratically speaking, that the muscles and the cells need time to digest physical exercise, any kind of exercize.

That might include dance, if the logic of my brain is not failing me in a very obvious way.

Then why would I suppose that, after performing non-stop for the last 5 years, my body would not need a silent/quite time to recover and internally DIGEST all I ve been learning and creating?!

Digestion time...yet ready to new banquet/new creation time

(oh, yeah...I may have discovered the wonders of digestion/quite time for my body but I am still a dance maniac...in case you didn t notice it until now!).

Cairo, the 11th August, 2010

Backstage manias....

What do I do before performing (every night after night, after night, after night...thanks God!)?!

Well...that would depend on my mood and time before the shows but, usually, there are a few things I do:

1. Dressing up, retouching make-up and all (the obvious).

2. Drinking my daily cappuccino often decorated with nice words from the kitchen staff (they draw I LOVE YOU with cinnamon on the top of the cappuccino and I just think: how cute is that?!). No alcohol , cigars or any kinds of drugs as so many other dancers do or as most people imagine me doing. I am kind of a nun in those matters...no addictions to strange substances that wil harm or pollute my body/instrument of work/pleasure/LIFE. No, thank you.

Except for the occasional cuban cigar (only with the right company), I do not smoke anything or ever drink alcohol.

3. Rehearsal with orchestra, 99%of the time.

I need to have control over my work and everything that will be shown to the audience.

Of course it's impossible to keep track of all the mistakes, specially on a daily work but I try my best to check what is the situation with the musicians, if there's someone missing, what is their mood and what it will be done better, show by show. I also consider important to sit and talk to them, laugh together, make some of them dance for me (yes, they do!!!) and build a nice atmosphere for all of us. That will be reflected on stage and the energy of the whole show.

Exhausting, yes. But I cannot do it another way. Or I do something WELL done or I just don't do it.

4. I sing portuguese fados while stretching, warming up my muscles and imagining a great show ahead of me. :)

5. Pray to my grandmother asking for guidance and pray to God for protection on stage and inspiration to give my best.

6. I bless myself before going on stage.

Cairo, the 26th April, 2010

Magical moments at work (what audiences do not see) just before departure...

What is an artist made of and what brings his talent to its highest point, ready to explode into the world and into people's lives?
For me, it's love. Silence. Intimacy. Sharing with my co-workers/artists.
Tenderness.
Here are some moments that fill me up just before getting on stage.

Almost traveling to Colombia and, while dealing with my beloved egyptians, I'm been thinking a lot about the greatness of the so underrated PATIENCE...
LOL

Cairo, the 30th March, 2010

Inspirations


What is an artist without inspiration sources?
My Muses come from so many places in they arrive in different shapes.
I am not influenced only by arabic artists. I take beauty and informations from the whole world... Art has no frontiers or nationalities.

From all the things, places and people who have inspired me since I started dancing at the age of three years old, just as soon as I could walk, there's no one who has followed me till today with such faithfulness as the genius Michael Jackson.

Whenever I am down and feeling blue about my work, all I have to do is revisit some of Michael's clips and there I am, up and running.
He's the best pop music entertainer of all times and all his songs are full of what I call my own fuel: PASSION.

I hear his songs and I remember the reason why I first started dancing.
Here are two of my favourite jewels:
Smooth criminal video ( my favourite video clip EVER!) and the lovely song which populated my childhood and makes me feel like up and dancing until today: Say, say, say (with Paul Maccartney, another song making bombastic genius).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVh7FL7-SQw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqBgn_sN94Y

Cairo, the 11th July, 2009

"Backstage mania - PART 2 ...when working becomes a personal challenge I'm so proud of...!"

I cannot describe all that's going on with me. I have deserved every bit of magic and constant blessings and yet I cannot stop feeling some disbelief at the gifts I am receiving, more and more.

This is backstage mania - PART 2. Crazy photos to remind me of a turning point in my professional and personal life.

Before each blessed show, me and my orchestra gather and joke around, rehearsal (there's always something new on my mind) and sing along. The dancers watch in disbelief. They whisper in my ear- after those improvised musical lounge parties - I give too much confidence to my orchestra. I should be tougher on them. Let's see about that!

"Heaven, I'm in heaven...and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak...

And I seem to find the happiness I seek,

when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek..."

Cairo, the 5th July, 2009

"Backstage - Part 2 and still to continue...where most of the magic happens..."

• Being an artist means so much and entails a reality with so many faces that I often forget how different it is the image "common" people have of someone like me and then the realities that compose - for REAL - all that I am and everything that contains the word ARTIST.
  









• Outsiders and audience may only see the stage and all I put out there in the form of live shows, videos, coreographies, workshops or conferences I may give on the subject of my art but the iceberg is so much bigger and its hidden base goes way much deeper and further than all the stuff that can be seen from the outside.
  
  
  


• Growing as an artist since the age of 5 - when I started my artistic education in Classical Ballet- and always being surrounded by art (I studied all kinds of dancing, music with the whole note reading, acting, drawing and painting, writing, etc), I never questioned that being an artist included lots of personal investment, hard continuous work, discipline, a very lively and curious mind and sacrifices with hidden pains and a life style that is totally limited-amplified at the same time by ART itself. Artists never rest or really stop thinking about their work. Our job becomes our life and everything around us should manage to adapt to it. It has always been very clear to me that ART is not only glamour or the lights on the stage but all that is behind it: rehearsals, doubts, training, classes and constant search to grow and develop our skills, an endless myriad of assets you need to keep up with, a whole life time dedicated to ART with everything and everyone else coming in second place (I feel sad by saying this but it's the truth...).
  





• Besides all the blessings and hard, pleasureable work I've been doing in Cairo for almost four years, some of the things that make me happier and fuller in my job are not known to the public:
  


• My spontaneous dance sessions with my dearest friend Mahmoud Reda. The times when he's showing me a new coreography or a song he managed to find after forty years of being tucked between old memories and tapes.The classes I teach and from which I get more than I give.
  


• The musical sessions with my orchestra and other musicians I come across who generously play for me.
  


• Some classes I take with rare, occasional teachers.
  


• When I take the time to listen to common people's suggestions on egyptian old music, the goodies that are really worth dancing and almost no one remembers anymore...
  


• When I haunt the stores searching for new songs to coreograph and dream about.
  


• Dance practices with fellow dancer friends - usually the boys cause girls don't seem to be very fond of me, for some reason...- and all you can share and learn from each other.
  


• Here are some photos of an unforgettable afternoon at my friend Mohamed's home in Mohamed Ali street. At the pretext of me giving a class to a fellow dancer, we ended up dancing together and having a great time, each one of us taking movements and small details from each other. If only all dancers could share like this, we would all gain from it!

Thanks, ya Mohamed, for reminding me of what REAL artists are about: sharing with each other and learning from each other rich points can only make us bigger. Admitting we don't know everything - actually we know so close to nothing... - is a clear sign of magnitude.

• When we're dancing and learning like children do I KNOW that we're both on the right track.

Cairo, the 4th July, 2009

"Backstage - part 1 PLUS t.v. interview and show small video...goodies to enjoy..."

I am sleepless again...the will to grow as an artist as well as a person steals all possibilities of a quiet night. I dream - literally - about my new shows, wake up in the middle of the night with some new ideas to materialize and - so it seems from the one who knows better - I even sing during my tormented sleep and smile in a way I suspect I didn't smile for a long time.

Here's a picture of me and Maya, a brazilian dancer I met at the Nile Group Festival who became a friend and also a reminder that not everybody in this business is nuts or simply bad news..

I am so excited that I can hardly breath consistently. What's happening?

I arrived home from work exhausted and with two pairs of show shoes broken - the evil eye and its unsuspected powers! - as well as a totally broken body which still managed to cook a mean spaghetti (at 2.00h in the morning!) and take a shower. My feet hurt like hell and I presume I will fall asleep as a rock the minute I lay my head on the pillow. I am wrong.
As exhausted as I was and dreaming about that hug from my man (the only thing I wish for after work and the real compensation after a night of such hard work and adrenaline), I still couldn't sleep until the sun started to say hi to me through the windows.The sun found me all crancky and with an ill mood due to my restlessness. I hate it!

Will I smile, dream about my work and wake up again tonight due to this most recent desease I caught from an overly intense life?!

I can't stop thinking, not even with chinese massages and facials that take you to the other side of reality.I am pronouncing myself a hardcore thinking machine 24 hours per day! Did I mention how excited I am?!

Talking about backstage euphoria, check this home video my assistant made of me during one of my rehearsals. Here I am reconstructing a bit of a coreography with one of my dancers! Me with training shoes, no make-up and baggy trousers making a lot of mistakes on the coreography. Uau! More "backstage" transparence than this, impossible! Enjoy it!

And...another interview on portuguese television.Follow the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRV8SY33_oQ

Also check one of my tabla solos and a show finale at the "Nile Maxim" cruise, Zamalek.
Follow the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATKhNF6pjHg