Cairo, the 27th July, 2009

"Good girl!"

I can still feel the thrill of tonight's shows...people's generous, appreciating gazes, their warm shouting and heartfelt clapping, their energy totally with me, their acceptance and recognition of talent, their presence in front and around me...Me, opening my arms and taking in the whole room as if I could hug my audience in a single gesture, as if my arms were of a super human size and the whole space - with respective souls in it - could lay into my embrace.

I look up and stare, for some seconds, at the gorgeous chandelier shinning above me. I give my back to the audience and acknowledge each one of my musicians in total attention and reverence.

I simply close my eyes, allow myself to breath deeply and be with myself for a moment, even if on stage, maybe because I'm on stage and this moments is so precious that i wish to capture it in my senses, my heart and my memory forever. I am aware of the blessing of being here, doing this misunderstood job that I love so much, having this opportunity to outgrow myself, night after night. Never satisfied, never enough..."we can do it better..." I say to myself and to my team.

"It was great but we'll do it even greater next time." This seems to be my praier and I'm getting along with it, seeing how it works (besides exhausting me).

There are a couple of men in the audience who try to flirt with me. I see them, look in their eyes and, in a second, subsistute that flirting look for a respectful, appreciating sudden glance that catch them offguard. I don't expect to change people's mentality but I can do my job in a way that, in an unexpected turn of melody, they can see DANCE, ART, SOUL and all that sensuous, prejudice full self-mirroring look of the audience is replaced by a RECOGNITION of a moment of PURE ART. These are my victories. Invisible to outsiders and yet so meaningful to me.

Two american couples came to see me perform tonight for the third time time in a row.

They pay for the most expensive table right in front of the stage and aren't shy to show their appreciation. I feel happy they're there. I could perform only for them, if I had to. They are wonderful and extremely sweet with me.

I feel happy they are coming to see the same dancer three nights in a row and, on each night, they have seen a different show and loved them all.

"Good girl!", I say to myself.

It has been a rollercoaster and I've done the whole thing or almost...

Classical style with the best of the best: Om Kolthoum, Abdel Halim, you name it.

Baladi - songs, taksim with my marvellous new accordeon, crazy bits of a true "bint il balad"

Modern dance with my boys and Saiidi-Tahtib with them...what a trip!

Alexandrian style, "sagats" and "toura". Tabla solos of all shapes and styles and still a new nubian theme I dance with gusto because there's so much of me that is inffluenced my Africa and its warmth!

The singing, ah...the singing...

And my mind doesn't stop.I want to reach further and reach that mountain top I reached today when I am dancing with the tabla or the tabla is playing according to my dance and all my audience stops, moves, trembles with pleasure (as in a loving embrace with my man!) and feels everything with me. That ability to make others feel what I feel through dance is a gift. I am also thankful for that.

Together. We're all ONE. "Tarab", tabla style.

"Good girl!" I say and repeat it to myself as I descend the stairs that lead me to the changing room. If I could, I would hug myself and scream out loud: "Well done, girl!I'm proud of you!"

Asking God to keep my inspiration and health going and never allow envy and the famous "evil eye" to touch me. I ask God for protection and thank him.

"Good, gooooooood girl!"