

The Life of an Oriental Dancer in Egypt and the WORLD*********************
I am always fascinated by the Human capacity for extreme Beauty and Ugliness.
Although I start to accept both sides of the coin, not as a hurtful paradox, but as a FACT of Life, there are times when the heart yells inside my chest:
I am STILL a heart. Don´t pretend you don´t feel. Me. Everything inside and around you.
My astrologer friends advise me to use the planet neptune´s energy (now resident on its original sign: Piscis) as a tool to expand and enhance my ARTISTIC activities. The good girl in me - my bright side of the coin, yes sir! - says "sure I´ll do it".
Neptune is also the energy of madness,dreams and all evasions/escapes from the hard dose of reality we endure on a daily basis. I ran from reality through my Art and Writing, curiously reaching to its core through it. You can run but you can´t hide. Indeed.
Receiving a few more indecent proposals through the Facebook hit me hard as ever. I can laugh about it now. I do. I say to myself that there are all kinds of crazy people in this world and that I may see my PROFESSION as an ART FORM but that doesn´t mean everybody does. My mind tries to bring the relative side of it all to the table but my heart STILL FEELS. Too much. Too loud. Too HUMANLY.
Receiving sexual encounter proposals - not mentioning the regular romantic date proposals which do not earn the place of a worry anymore - simply from the image many men build of me and due, for sure, to my work as an ORIENTAL DANCER never ceases to disgust me. It is the clash between something I LIVE as SACRED and other live as GARBADGE. It is my knowledge against their ignorance and another hard dose of reality that informs me: there must be a LOT of women who do accept this kind of disrespect from men.
For the 100000th time, I say out loud: I am a PERSON, not a SEXUAL OBJECT. I choose the men I sleep with according to what my best friend calls "THE CLIQUE", meaning: falling in love with the man of my heart´s choice. I am a DANCER, not a PROSTITUTE. And NO, you´re not Marlon Brando in his best years.
"Morphine, please...just a little bit of..."
José Saramago on my hands.
Since I started writing my own book, all other books were sent to the Land of temporary vacation.
The piles of tomes are still saying hi to me, every time I pass through my Cairo living room. I still carry the occasional book in my bag for emergencies (all occasions that entail a period of waiting for something are occupied by my recently neglected reading) and remain faithful to the "Oprah Magazine" and the "Vanity Fair". But the rythm in which I am used to devour books has decreased exponentialy.
Only the portuguese Nobel prize winner, José Saramago, could make me open an exception in times like this when the only book I have in mind is MY OWN.
"The Gospel according to Jesus Christ" caught my attention. A polemic, honest and brave book. MY KIND of book.
With a guilty feeling in my guts, I grab Saramago´s infamous literary piece promising I will only eat a few pages of it until I return to work on my own book. It´ s a literary adulterous relationship and it feels AMAZING.
"Human vocabulary is still not capable, and probably never will be, of
knowing, recognizing, and communicating everything that can be humanly
experienced and felt."
I sware I try to understand it, I even sware I try hard not to judge and learn from the different ways of Living I can so colourfully observe in Egypt. Yet I just CANNOT accept HIPOCRISY.
As I returned from the gym, I observed as an egyptian girl fully covered (including the "hijab" that hides the hair) flirted shamelessly with a young taxi driver. She was driving her own car and he was driving his taxi. She teased him, stared at him and smiled, winked and finally said something I could not understand (neither can I imagine). The whole way was a series of cheap attempts to catch his attention in ways that not even the cheapest prostitute would use.
I already find disgusting that men sexually harass and pick up women in the streets of Cairo as if this is the most normal thing in the world. Knowing that women/girls -veiled women who should act according to their religion and appearance - do the same leaves me speechless.
In a sexually segregated society with a crescendo of religious extremism -palpable in all aspects of our daily lives over here - it is "normal" to expect all kinds of weird behaviours. Men and women were created to live together as naturally as any other animal species. Whatever you repress, you expand. Law of Nature that religious extremists - of all the so "called" religions - do not seem to grasp with these - and other - disastrous results.
Brains, oh brains! Wish to know where have you gone on vacation (for way too long...).