Cairo, the 2nd March, 2011

The meaning of a warrior.

I have been in shock since yesterday. If my friend s life s example was not so incredibly inspiring and moving, then I would have kept this enormous pain to myself, cried all my tear like an endless river of frozen pearls but this is not the case. After all, I had a friend who was a WARRIOR of LIGHT, in the true sense of the word.

My dear friend had the worst kind of breast cancer in an advanced state. I have no idea who her health state was let to develop this far because she was already extremely sick when I had the honour of meeting her.

The things is you would t tell how sick she was. She would not allow it.

From our group of friends that used to meet for Tarot studying, laughs, cookies and other girlie stuff that keeps you going in the toughest times, she was always the most beautiful, colourful, energetic and kind of all.

She was also my partner for Tarot readings and from that detail we had the most amazing, unforgettable talks a woman can have with another fellow woman.

No matter how hard were her treatments and how weak she felt, she had the energy and good spirits of a STAR and I never heard her complain about her disease or about anything else.

Everything she did, said and presented to this world was GORGEOUS with not 1% of self pity in it.

She was also extremely optimistic about her recovery and so was I, not being aware of the REAL gravity of her disease stage. We used to make plans for the After-Cancer.

She was going to restart painting and I would help her organize her first expo. The first painting was supposed to be me with a lion on my lap because she once saw a photo of me like that and was in love with it. I was so touched and honoured!

We talked about LIGHT, WILL POWER and all the things we can do, as human beings, to improve ourselves and our lives. We both had the arrogance we could beat this disease.

We both had the naivete to even consider that a miracle could happen. I believed in these kind of miracles and so did she.

The last thing she wanted was people to feel sorry for her and the way she told me about her cancer seemed like the announcement of a birthday party. She was non chalant, no drama, even smiling.

"I have cancer" sounded to me like " I have a garden which needs to be taken care of".

My friend was my age and had a beautiful little daughter called Nirvana.

Coincidence? Well, now this is something I do not believe in Coincidences.

I may still be stubborn against all odds and facts and, therefore, insist on the possibility of MIRACLES but no COINCIDENCES, please.

She was a beautiful egyptian brunnete with dark, full, deep eyes that would pull you through when you most needed. The widest smile you could ever imagine and a hell of a coffee cup reader!

The last time we were together we laughed, hugged like we were celebrating a life with no end. She baked cookies for me and another friends, made us tea and the best turkish coffee on the planet earth and made plans for her life, like all of us.

Her deterioration happened very quickly, I was told. I would have liked to be with her in those last days, although I think she would not allow me to see her without a smile. She was too beautiful for that!

I was in Portugal, during the last few weeks, and I was too careful not to bother her as I knew she did not appreciate that we would freak out or feel worried for her.

So my memory of her dates from a month ago when she seemed vibrant, full of life, hopes and the colours she cherished so much. I was complaining about the imperfections and tribulations of my own life and she did no complain about her life. All was fine.

Now here s the thing. I ve been proud to consider myself a WARRIOR in the true sense of the word and then I met her. Masters say that our soul recognizes the TRUTH when it comes in contact with IT.

I guess they are right. They also say the REAL MASTERS are around us all the time and in all walks of life, without us noticing them.

I noticed the existence of a MASTER. Only NOW.

I wish I could have seen it while she was physically alive and told it to her face. How much I admire her strenght, faith and stamina. How much I respect her and love her for GIVING and GIVING and GIVING when she was dying without complaining.

What a WARRIOR she is and how HONOURED and LUCKY I was to have met her.

I can see her face right now, had I told her all this to her face. She would shy away, smiling, holding me, telling me I am exaggerating and that is no big deal.

WOMEN!

After this incredible woman passed through my life, how can I complain or feel a bit of self pity for life s obstacles and injustices???

I do believe in the SPIRIT that lives, way beyond our body so I am SURE she can hear me and feel me wherever she is. In peace.

The best way to honour her as she honoured me with her presence and TEACHING will be to e STRONGER, BETTER, MORE PRESENT and ALIVE and never complaining about little mountains.

In the face of the death of someone you love, what is important and what is not becomes, suddenly, CLEAR as water.

"My sweetie, I love you and admire you and no words can express how much!

Although I cannot physically hold you and laugh with you, read each other our cards and have fun with life s crazy corners and spins, your PRESENCE will be felt, more than ever.

For your sake, I will be a BIGGER SOUL, a STRONGER PERSON and the most GENEROUS and BRAVE I can manage to be.

Not even death can separate the ones who love each other.

Rest in peace and know you ll always be present in my heart."