"Hey, cavemen...up for marriage...tomorrow morning?!"

My mobile rang with tis usual irritating tone. I do not like phones or speaking through them. In a previous life time, some phone must have exploded in my ears and, therefore, I abhorr all kinds of phones in this current life.
With shopping and phones, I must be the opposite of most women: hate shopping and speaking on the phone! Go figure...

- Hi, Joana! Do you want to marry an egyptian man? - I heard from the other side of the line, coming from a familiar voice but with no preliminaries or "salam ualeekum".
- Hi! How are you? What the hell are you talking about? - I answered, quite not prepared for yet another episode of typical egyptian craziness.
- I have a friend who is a doctor and the owner of his own company and I told him about you and how amazing you are and I also showed him your photo and he wants to marry you. Are you interested? - He continued, as if he was asking me if I wanted to have coffee on any given sunny afternoon.

*What DA F..................................??!!!!!! (I thought to myself).
I ve dealt with so much and so varied kinds of weirdos around here but they never fail to surprise me and shock me more and more.

I was speechless, not so much because I didn t know what to say but because I am simply sick and tired from egyptian mentality towards women and relationships. It seems that people around here get married for all the reasons, EXCEPT LOVE. This makes me want to throw up!

- No, I don t want to marry any egyptian man. Not interested but thank you for asking. - I said, in a last attempt of being polite.

- Why not? He s very good looking and you ll make gorgeous babies together and he s offering you the direction of his own company. I told him you are not only an artist but also a very intelligent, highly educated woman so he s ready to give you the leadership of his company. What do you think?" - He continued, in pursuit of his own "match making" challenge, talking with me as if I was a piece of merchandise someone wants to buy for a great price.

I didn t have time to think about an answer to this lunatic conversation when my "express husband" spoke for himself (and so poorly, I may say!):

- Hi, I am doctor X. I heard so much about you. I want to see you and marry you. - A strange voice came from the other side of the line.

My patience was, instantly, over. I asked him to pass the phone to my "friend" and told him very clearly that I had no intention of marrying any egyptian man and that most of them are the kind of men I would not recommend to my worst enemy, if I had one. As it happens to every rule, there must be exceptions to the majority but I didn t find one of them just yet.

- NO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I d rather eat indian cow s dung for lunch than to marry someone I hardly know just because he is offering me "everything" and, by everything, we can mean so many different things.

I never stop surprising me around here. At which extent does this local "logic" goes and how different is my own perception of the world and their own perception of the world.


Meanwhile, I try so hard to keep my mental sanity going on...