I wonder if it s just me being too much of "myself" (can you ever be too much of yourself?).

While choreographing new pieces to teach and preparing to return to the stages of Cairo with my orchestra, I can t help but notice that I am a different person now (how fast can you grow in such a short time?!) than I was just a few months ago.

Egyptian Revolution happened and so many other professional and personal ones added to it. It did not remain stone over stone in any of my castles. Lost a close friend to cancer when I was expecting her hug and amazing smile, learnt that not all MEN are MEN (even if you love them with all your heart), realized that the will for power, status and society's approval of what you do can be stronger than real love, noticed that some people live by other people s rules and decisions like slaves who don t know about their own condition and so much more.

Rejected yet another attempt of sexual harassment in exchange for work in Cairo, got tired of the whole game, saw my niece being born like a miracle happening on the palm of my hands and realized there is no space (not 1%) for bullshit in my world anymore.

My garden was washed over by the rain and there s no dust or rotten fruit left in it, only bright trees and flowers who spread their aroma into my everyday morning. No space for any kind of low games, ugliness, lack of quality things, ideas or people...

My garden is shinning like a new born baby in the interior patio of my home.

The sudden, hard changes and cold reality checks were a kind of deep cleaning period from which I am coming out like Venus from the waters (reference to Botticelli' s painting), a new born again more full of Light than ever.

Not sweating the small stuff anymore is part of the learning coming from a hard time but that s not all.

Magical (word that I use all the time...) is to SEE that my dance has evolved as much as I did and all the accessory disappeared giving place to the LANGUAGE - my own language, also known as "language of the birds, tigers or wild horses" - that Oriental Dance helped me find inside myself.

More than ever, I search for the Language of my SOUL (with my FULL Humanity in it) hugging Itself with heart, body and mind. It s not a process you can ever find intelectually, if you searched for it. That s the (here we go again!) MAGIC of it: this Language of the soul is something that comes to me through life s experiences and a phase of challenging "desert crossing"... like being in LOVE with a wonderful MAN (and I mean MAN, not man)...both extreme joy and pain touching each other s fingers, as if they were one and the same.