ld:The biggest gifts and discoveries often come disguised as evil people and episodes in our lives. Living and performing in Egypt for the last 5 years has taught me that, among many other valuable lessons.
In times such as this, I feel in my heart the need to write this note to all dancers who wish to read it, hoping that BETTER things and attitudes will come out of it.
This is NOT an answer to all the dancers bad mouthing me in the Facebook because the REAL reason they do it is not worth the time and effort to write whatever I could write.
This is, FOR SURE, the beautiful result of yet another backstabbing episode that came from the air, from the simple fact that many people are unhappy and frustrated with their own inability to achieve what they dream of and, therefore, they tend to attack the ones who are able to do it.
A lady called Blume (gorgeous and poetic name, if you say it out loud!) has sent me a warning message forbidding me to post a link of my Fan Page in Facebook in a group called Cairo Caravan, threatening me of consequences to my crime.
Sure I didn t understand the reason of this law as both my Fb profiles are opened to other dancers who wish to promote their good work but I respected it because not everyone is supposed to want to know my work better. She had the right to block, for some personal reasons of her own that I will not go into, the access of my Fan Page to this group and I sure accepted her decision.
I happen to have a few friends, very few and very valuable, that help me in the organization of my work and promotion of it. I even happen to have two beautiful girls called Sonia (or Sonya, as they write their name) and they both try their best to share my work with whomever they can just because they love me. One of them is in Portugal and the other in Cairo and none of them earns anything from it or wishes to be recognized. They just like to help me out of friendship, love and appreciation. Yes, they are RARE. I told you so!
One of these beautiful friends who assist me with my work in the Facebook didn t know about this FORDIDDEN entry at the group of this lady called Blume so she posted the infamous link of my Fan Page in the group simply because it had "Cairo" in it and I perform in Cairo so that would make sense for here. No harm or offense intended.
She didn t mean any disrespect as I didn t mean any disrespect while posting it for the first time. I is a simple link that so many people seem to consider offensive (wonder why?!).
To this episode, this lady with the beautiful name of Blume sent me an extremely aggressive, nervous break down type of message, threatening me again in a much more violent manner and informing me that she had reported me to the authorities I don t know of what.
For me, this was crazy talk and I told her so. It seemed that I had offended her own beloved mother and she was defending her pride. Out of proportion and evil, for NO reason.
As it is known from all my close friends, lovers and friends, I have NO diplomatic skills whatsoever. I admit to this "fault" and I consider it a side effect of the compulsive honesty that has put me into troubes so many, but SO many times.
So I told her what I thought: she should seek a therapist and refrain from showing off her rage and envy to people who did nothing to harm her or offend her.
She posted my message (NOT the message she sent me, threatening me and reporting my crime to whoever she dreamt of, of course!) at her page and mine (talk about invasion of privacy...) and from this point I read the most hateful comments about me from people that must know my professional name but have no idea of who I am or how did I reach the point of SUCCESS I did in my career.
It seems that my assistant s crime of posting my very offensive Fan Page link in this group erupted different vulcanoes that were sleeping under the anger of so many dancers who see in me the reflection of what they would have liked to be and do but CAN T or COULDN T do.
It is not a new subject to me.
When I left my own country, Portugal, to come to Egypt and perform here (while writing a book about this LIFE s experience) I had to deal with the same kind of ugly reflections of other people s frustrations and deep seated envy.
One night before my "Farewell" show at a theatre in Lisbon, I dreamt that I was sleeping on my back, laying on a hill with a bright sunny sky, when several snakes started bitting my back.
My sister was with me in that dream and she told me: "Aren t you feeling the snakes?"
I looked above my shoulder, while asking her: "What snakes? I don t feel anything."
As I realized my back was being bitten all over by several snakes, I smiled at my sister and finished with the revealing phrase: "Oh, don t bother. They bite but they cannot hurt me."
The other day, before the big gala with my farewell show, I was attacked by dancers and my own students with comments such as:
"Who do you think you are? You are arrogant. You think you re the best or what?!
You think Portugal is not enough for you so you have to leave to Egypt! What kind of irresponsible teacher are you if you just leave everybody and run to Egypt?"
No support or words of encouragement from anyone, including from my family who thought - and still does! - that coming to Egypt was a pure, dangerous madness.
I even heard about conspiracy theories of the reason WHY I was going to Egypt.
Running from taxes, going after a rich "sheikh" and so on...All BIG BULSHIT and none of it had to to with ME.
That s the crazy and funny part of it all: none of this BULSHIT had to do with me.
I became a MIRROR of their own frustrations, the things they would like to be and do but couldn t or wouldn t. Till this day and more and more and more...
That same reality has struck me once again, making me REALIZE how much I have grown until now and that those mirrors of frustrated people grow alongside my path of victories.
Also ironic is the read comments from dancers who have no idea of what it took to get HERE without prostituting myself, harming anyone on the way and always being honest with me and everyone around me when everybody else was trying to screw me and harm me as much as possible.
From other dancers trying to put me in jail by hiding drugs in my backstage room, cheap copies of my shows and "stealing" of my best musicians by managers/husbands who could afford to pay an extra buck, to snails being put inside of my boots so that I would perfurate my feet and stop dancing, to ex boyfriends trying to stop me dancing by threatening to destroy my face with acid, to bosses and men in the Cairo business harming me on my back like cowards because I refused to go to bed with them...the list is endless. But no one really wants to know about it cause that will make them hate a great deal less.
Due to hard work and the talent God gave me and that I m so proud of, I have built my name in the most competitive, dirty and hard dance environment in the world but no one seems to care about that. The gossip and dirty lies seem to be much more comfortable to other envious dancers than the pure truth. It s quite like selling papers: only the bad, bloody, dirty news sell. The good things some people are doing in the world don t seem to appeal to the buyers/readers.
Along this incredible, challenging path I chose I learnt how to appreciate OTHER GREAT ARTISTS, not filling my heart with envy and rage towards them.
If there s someone or something in which I see QUALITY, I yell it out loud and I get inspired by them, becoming a better ARTIST also BECAUSE of them.
With this comment I finish this letter, retaining the most important:
Dear dancers, do not let your envy, frustrations and mediocrity blind you.
If you have a DREAM, you should believe in yourself as I believe in myself and follow through with it, doing your best to develop your talents and abilities and that includes sharing and learning from other DANCERS.
We have much more in common that you think. Substitute HATE and ENVY by LOVE and SHARING. This is what I have to say to Blume (still insisting she seeks therapy, maybe "anger management therapy":) and to all the dancers who lose their time and energy destroying the ACHIEVEMENTS of the few dancers who SUCCEED without losing their dignity and humanity.
Cheers to everyone and my shows in Cairo (or anywhere else in the world) are open to you all, as long as you come with your heart in your hands!
Happy dancing and happy living make INCREDIBLE ARTISTS. Believe it.
2 comments:
I can respect your achievements and the great efforts you have put into them but you have to see that you are being a bit of a hypocrite here. If you tell others to not be angry or spew hate you should do the same. You have come out swinging and attacking Blume for defending her friends and asking you to refrain from spamming. The page you are advertising yourself on belongs to a group who attend and/or plan a festival in California called Cairo Caravan. You had no real right to post your link there as a non participant of this event so she had every right to ask you to cease and desist, not once but three times. So you have the facts, and not as an attack or insult, she did in fact post her email to in the comments so in all fairness you should amend your post. Blume is a wonderful woman who promotes sisterhood and charity among dancers so I personally feel that you have misjudged her, but you are entitled to your feelings and opinions. Again, I mean no offense and am not attacking you but your post fails to show your own portion of blame in this yet you are suggesting she is completely at fault and you are the victim. The victims here are the members of the group page who have a right to this page without being spammed by anyone. They deserve an apology, not an attack on the person who defended them and their rights. If you expect or ask for respect you also have to extend it to others in kind. That and talent is what will gain you fans. Please do not take this as an insult or attack, it is just my observation from the fence looking at both sides. Have a blessed life and I wish you success in your career.
Dear Lisa,
First of all, thanks for identifying yourself. That shows character.
I ve received some messages of dancers who refuse to identify themselves as cowards and to those I refuse to answer. I will not spend my time answering crazy, coward people.
Second, thanks for expressing yourself in a fair yet straightforward manner. I sure respect your opinion but I have mine.
I admited to my total lack of diplomatic skills because that is true.
Lady Blume, who has no idea of who I am (both personally or professionally) has just messaged me again (after I reported her to the Facebook)calling me a lier which something else I will not accept.
Your point of view is valid but here s the thing:
I do think that the tone and content of her last message to me is offensive and threatening when my assistant, who made the mistake meaning no harm, posted a link to my Fan Page there.
Sure I don t know this group. Actually I have no idea about it. As me, my assistant also had no idea of what this is and she thought that Cairo Caravan would be connected with Dance in Cairo. This was the mistake and I don t think the link to my page is offensive to anyone and I surely don t think it deserved a threat like Blume did in the message you all can read.
Blume and many other dancers also talk about me with tremendous evilness and unfair rage without knowing me personally.
I NEVER use my own career achievements to mistreat or humiliate anyone. Actually, the ones who DO know me are aware that I am the humblest person and my career is just my work, not who I am.
BUT there are times when people who treat me with disrespect have to be put in their own places in the same way they approach me.
I am nothing but kind to every person in the world who comes to me with the same respect and kindness.
I answered the first message lady Blume sent me with this usual kindness and sure I promised not to post anything else in the group and I didn t.
It would have been much easier if this lady Blume could explain her group is ONLY for whatever events she does and not presume I am spamming it. Why would I? It is just ridiculous and mean.
Sure I know my words are harsh in my answer to Blume but they are the only possible answer when someone send me a threat and what I consider an aggressive message regarding a subject I meant no offense or harm about.
Besides all that, I thank you for your post and respectful way of showing your opinion.You are clearly a good person (and that s how I KNOW, from details, who is WHO).
With Love,
JoanaS.
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