Cairo, the 6th January, 2010

“The shadows of every love”

Every beautiful thing/person has his dark side. I call it “moon” side or shadow.
Where there is Light, there is shadow. The concept is easy to understand but hard to live with, I guess.

I’ve talked profusely over here about the dark side of being a dancer in the Middle East.
I’ve also talked about the marvellous things it entails.
Decided not to commit the same mistakes as in previous years and move on with dispensable “emotional” attitudes towards my work, here I am admitting another hard bunch of truths (very important for whom is making a career in this place):

1. Never trust anyone.
This is a heartbreaking truth but it’s the most useful one if you don’t want to be eaten by the sharks (musicians who will …. you on your back, competitive dancers who will also ……you big time on your back and all sorts of empresarios , managers, pimps and low creatures also known by “rich men” who will not accept the idea of YOU, the DANCER not sleeping around with them in exchange for career opportunities).

2. There are no emotional ties between the Dancer and the team that works with her. I tend to be a sucker on this one. I feel my musicians are my family and treat them as such until I see the true face of which one. I receive smiles, praises and bows but, when the moment of the truth arrives, all the smiling faces turn into monsters with no consideration or emotional connection to me.
I’ve been betrayed by musicians enough to know that I have to be a sneaky actress with them in order to survive. VERY HARD ROLE FOR ME TO KEEP (yet, there’s no other choice).

3. In crowds and crowds of people who want you to succeed – thanks to my AUDIENCES for being the BEST in the world!- there is also a pretty strong group of people who DOESN’T WANT YOU TO SUCCEED and be sure they will do their best for you not to.
Be aware of your enemies (“keep your friends close and your enemies closer”…remember the motto) and mind them just enough to protect yourself from coward type, back-stabbing attacks.

4. The law of the jungle is the only one which actually works in this field (and, in particular, in Cairo). You eat or you are eaten.
“If you’re not fast enough, you’re food.” – Says a sport’s tennis advertisement for a famous brand. Apply this one if you’re a dancer in a high spot in Cairo. Be the LION, not his food.

5. Job opportunities will not be given to the best, most talented artists (this applies to dancers and musicians as well) but to the ones who are better connected and find ways of getting the “goodies” from underground roads. Friendships, bed sharing and favours exchange play a MAJOR role in Egypt and that is true for the art’s field.
Accept to loose some little battles if you don’t play the dirty game but aim for the WAR’s N.1 Prize.

6. You will be a great soul with a huge heart on stage BUT a bitch backstage. Schizophrenic , I know. Yet, there’s no other way to keep your work neat and growing up. Keeping musicians and everybody involved in your work on their toes is a job for Hitler, not for Mozart (if you know what I mean). Egyptian musicians work with aggressive leadership and take kindness as a clear sign of weakness. PLAY THE ROLE of HITLER backstage and allow yourself – if you can! – to be Mozart when you’re on stage.
It helps that I am a GEMINI…split personality is already in my genes so…let’s get to work.

7. Be aware that ART comes along with a LOT of shitty stuff. It’s not all dreams and beauty. It’s also the darkest places you can ever see in the human nature.
8. If you’re a dancer or wish to be one: Good Luck and pray A LOT to GOD!


Now…don’t get me wrong. Being a dancer in the Middle East and, in particular, in Cairo has wonderful things to it (otherwise I wouldn’t be here sacrificing so much of my life) but these wonders come with the dark side of the business.
I ‘ve discovered, over and over again, that most people that surround me in this field seem not to have a heart or a conscience of their own. They sure have a brain smart enough to take advantage of you and steal as much as possible but forget about appealing to emotions, reason or conscience. I often stare at musicians and such and ask myself from which material are they made. Do they posses a real human heart inside of their chest? Do they sleep well at night after so much lying and fooling around with other people?!
Yet again, I do not understand the people who surround me and, unfortunately, continuously notice I cannot trust them either.

All dreams have a price tag attached to them, that’s the final conclusion of it all.