Inner battles (writing and choreographing)...


I´ve mentioned it before: Writing my own BOOK requires a similar process to choreographing new pieces. In both cases - writing and dancing - I am always searching within myself, at the realm of my INSTINCT and INTUITION, for brand NEW MATERIAL that is HONEST, FRESH, GROUND BREAKING. I am not good at copying what others did or I did. What´s done does not interest me anymore. It´s yesterday´s news.
In this DEMAND for INSIDE EXPLORATION I lose myself, my patience, my fears and also my joy, some times. The MAGICAL DOOR from which I ENTER my SUBCONSCIOUS is not always open. I try to sneak through it before the MIND guardian catches me and, in most cases,I succeed. But then there are those times when the door is so closed that all I come up with - words and movements - is less than INTERESTING to me. Then frustration comes, some negative thoughts arrive at my own smaller door and I think: "I can´t do this!". Many times...so many times that I get tired of the destructive talk and JUMP.
"Yalla! Whatever comes, go with it. Even if it is not what you feel excited about."
Eventually, INSPIRATION gets a hold of me and lays on my lap.

Creating from your RATIONAL side must be much easier...why did I have to be born an ARTIST?! Damn/bless it.