(On the picture:*Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Wilding at home,1953)

Think it over, please...will you marry me?

It seems that, lately, my world has been deeply affected by male nonsense or, should I say, cultural shocks that really rock my world but not in a good way.
I ´ve come to terms with the fact that everybody is different and each brain (working or non-working) has its own path to see and deal with this relative world of ours.
I´ve also recognized that the culture, religion and mentality you are raised in have a strong effect on the adult you´ll become.
What I cannot seem to assimilate is the way most men I know around here ignore the very nature of LOVE, PASSION and, ultimately, relationships.

After a year over the first marriage proposal from this man (respected and well known singer, a gentleman and an intelligent, well travelled person himself), he returned to the chase after I answered him with a blank "No, thank you. I am not in love with you so I cannot marry you". During this last year, he tried to get me close to him in very delicate (and unsuccessful) ways to no avail.

Now notice something: I respect this man. I even like him. I just don´t LOVE HIM. He was brave enough to put all the cards on the table and not going for the usual "best friend/brother who wants to take you to bed" thing. He belongs to a rare species of GENTLEMEN who honestly tell you what they want, plan and feel and ask you if you´re interested. So I could not be mad at him. I HAD to respect him for the risk of receiving a "NO" on his face (which he did) but never expected that, after an whole year, he would return with the question:

-Did you think about it better?! I love you and want to marry you (and many other beautifful and, apparently, sincere stuff).

-The question is not if I think or not. The question is if I FEEL and I don´t. I was not in love with you a year ago and I am not in love with you now.

-But you can change your mind, if you give me the chance to be close to you and show you more of who I am.

-It doesn´t go like that. I am a LATIN, LATIN, LATIN hot tempered woman, my dear. When we see a man, we know if there´s a chance for a love relationship within the first five minutes on his presence. It does not take time, patience or conformity to realize if I am interested or not.

-Is it because you´re still in love with your ex? ´Cause I can wait, if you need or make you forget him.

-No, no, no. I am not in love with any ex boyfriend. That´s not it. I am just NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU.

No matter how much I tried to explain it to him, it was hopeless. It seems the concept of "BEING in LOVE" is totally foreigner to these men. The ones who wish to marry search for the PERFECT CANDIDATE (beautiful, honest, mother figure, humble and respectful, etc) as another type of check list that she must fulfil ignoring that FALLING in LOVE has nothing to do with perfection, practical choices or candidates for a post/job. It is CRAZY, it is IRRATIONAL, it is UNEXPECTED and VISCERAL. It is a moment of SOUL RECOGNITION that takes your breath away. It is a "cannot live without him" kind of feeling right in the center of your chest. It is an extra, JOYFUL heart beat inside of you every time you know you´re going to be together. It is a God´s gift, a miracle no cientist could explain until today.

Ah! Feeling frustrated and in a TRULY foreign land. Someone out there from Planet Earth, please...Someone???