Where is LOVE?

Yes, this has always been one of the MANY questions I threw in the air while living and performing in Egypt.

´Cause - you see... - Oriental Dance is not JUST about movements and choreographies, sparkling dresses and the so called "glamour". Well, it has never been for me - at least.

You cannot understand and feel the complexity of Egyptian Dance without understanding and feeling the complexity of EGYPTIAN people, mentality, religions (and notice I mention "religions" - not RELIGION because Egypt has been through many religious beliefs and none alone can ever define it).

WHERE IS LOVE? - was one of the most recurrent questions I made to myself and to people around me in these last years. It seemed to me that relationships in Egypt are built like commercial transactions: I give you this in exchange for what I want from you. 

Marriages are made out of conveniences (professional or financial), sudden lust attacks, family alliances like you see in Medieval timed movies, sexual repression which finds a legal release in a matrimonial contract and so on;
Friendships and even sisterhood-brotherhood are so easily betrayed that my heart bleeds just thinking of it;
Mums control their children - blackmailing them into doing what THEY WANT them to do;
Men marry several wives - and add some "orfi" marriages to this equation as well as prostitutes and side lovers; women resign to their martyr condition.

I mean: REALLY?! 
Experiencing TRUE LOVE for some MEN (the men my heart chose) have been some of the highest, most enriching experiences of my Life (for the good and for the bad). Never selling myself in exchange for career opportunities or comforts has its disadvantages but it also gives me the FREEDOM to choose who I want to sleep with, love and live with. What does dance has to do with it?! 
A LOT: as far as I see it. 
For me, DANCING equals  LOVE.  
I could never DANCE properly if I never experienced TRUE LOVE. My movements, music interpretation and SOUL on stage would never shine if I never had the experience of LOVING a man from my heart and feeling that LOVE back at me. 

While MONEY and SEX seem to be the greatests Gods most people adore, I ask again and again: WHERE IS LOVE?

To throw some light into this tricky question*, here´s two quotes from a GREAT (and dangerous) BOOK "Beyond the Veil" (by Fatima Mernissi):

“Some souls sometimes let themselves be completely overtaken by passionate love (for a woman). It is pure madness. It is to ignore completely why copulation was created. It is to sink to the level of beasts as far as domination and mastery of oneself go. Because a man passionately in love does not look for the mere desire to copulate, which is already the ugliest of all desires and of which one should be ashamed, but he goes as far as to believe that this appetite cannot be satisfied except with a specific object (a particular woman). A beast satisfies its sexual appetite where it can, while this type of man (the man in love) cannot satisfy his sexual appetite except with his beloved. Thus he accumulates disgrace after disgrace and slavery after slavery. He mobilizes reason in order for it to serve appetite, while reason was created to command and to be obeyed.”

A-Ghazali, “Criterion for Action”, Cairo 1964

P.317

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“The erotic relation seems to offer the unsurpassable peak of fullfilment of the request for love in the direct fusion of the souls of one to the other…

A principal ethic of religious brotherhood is radically and antagonistically opposed to all this. From the point of view of such an ethic, this inner earthly sensation of salvation by mature love competes in the sharpest possible way with the devotion of a supramundane God…”

Max Weber, “Religious Rejections of the World and Their Directions” New York 1958, p. 347

P.S. More comments posted by me on the FB relating to this particular theme:

• " When I mentioned the theme LOVE I was not ONLY refering to romantic love but LOVE in all forms (between siblings, friends, etc). Sure there are many reasons to build a specific relationship but what I meant is the SHOCK I usually feel in Egypt - and all Arab countries, for that matter - when it comes to PERSONAL relationships. Sure there is a NATURAL exchange between two people (yes, that´s an essencial part of it) but "feeling each other good" was not on my mind- not even by far. I meant: business, easy non-committed sex, money, professional interests and then MORE MONEY as the MAIN reasons for relationships. In a society - like the egyptian - where people tend to assume themselves as so religious, I find it SHOCKING to see most of them relate to each other on a very materialistic, cynical level. Romantic love as the base for a relationship or simple heart connection between friends may be a relatively recent phenomenon - yes, I know that!:) - but it´s an achievement as far as HUMAN CONNECTIONS are concerned. Sure the West has seen the insecurity and volability of this kind of relationships but it´s still more HUMAN - I guess - than marrying a guy because he can "take care of you" and support you for life. That´s what I meant."

  
  

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  • "Yes, arabic is pre-islamic but it serves PERFECTLY both hedonism and repression (notice these are TWO faces of the same coin). Who are the freakiest sexual predators? The repressed ones. Who are the less freakish of all sensuous souls? The ones who are liberated from repression - and, therefore, do not obsess about the "forbidden fruit". I do think arabic language is an extemely SENSUAL and ROMANTIC language and I do think - too!:) - that it served HEDONISM as well as SEXUAL-EMOTIONALLY repressed societies that are, at their base, craving from EMOTION and SEX- those same things that are not accessible to them. I´m being a little bit "Freud" over here but it´s just what I SEE.:)"

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    • "We´re confusing two different kinds of perversion over here. There are the sexual perverts (everywhere, any time - not depending on a specific culture or society´s repression) and ANOTHER KIND of GENERALIZED sexual perversion and obsession that COMES FROM REPRESSION. This is the one I´m referring to when I mention Egypt and all the Middle East with this double standard of SEX-CENTRISM and SEXUAL REPRESSION - at the same time. Still being Freud over here..."