The luxury of freedom after Egypt (or daring to wear my summer flower dress)

All I wanted for my Birthday was a breathing space: INHALING.

 Just inhaling for someone who is constantly exhaling in all directions and in so many ways - outch, that must (almost) hurt.

Not complaining, that I´m not. I´m living the life I dreamt for myself and even beyond/above it but, I admit, there´s some lack of balance in this whole equation as I don´t rest enough, I don´t cut myself some slack and always give 10000% in everything I do with no time between events to BREATH IN and RE-FUEL the whole machine (body, mind, heart and soul).

Yesterday was my birthday and I spent it just as I wanted it (and urgently needed): in peace and quiet, with loved ones, by the beach (feeling the salt from the ocean on my sun bathed skin was heaven) and wearing nothing but a bikini.
Once I left the beach, I dared to wear a new summer flower dress that I could only dream of in my last years of life in Egypt. Dressing like a "normal" person was one of those "luxuries" I had to abdicate from when I decided to build my career from Egypt (to the world).  Small price, comparing to the price many other dancers agree to pay (hhhmmmm...). Still a HIGH PRICE.

It is a fact that whoever has been born inside of a jail (without the experience of freedom) doesn´t even know he/she´s jailed (much less having the concept of what FREEDOM means).
 It is also a fact that, if you were lucky to be born in FREEDOM, then you will only value it once you lose it.

My personal and professional life in Egypt has been FANTASTIC and BLESSED in so many ways but the restrictions, sacrífices and loss it also entailed often left me drained out of energy and even a smile.
Not being able to walk in the street like a HUMAN BEING was a heavy daily load to carry; having to carefully cover myself (bag of potatoes, baby) every time I "exposed" myself outsider of my home (even when I opened the door to receive some delivery or the postmail) was a kind of subtle - yet powerful - repression that led me to a state of near clinical madness; being treated as a sexual object by 99,9% of all the people I met was hurtful and unnatural and the only reason why it didn´t break my spirit* was that I KNOW MYSELF too well and would never allow it to happen.

Now...being able to walk barefoot and with a beautiful summer dress in public FELT LIKE PARADISE - after so many years of my self-imposed indirect jail. It seems so simple, doesn´t it?
Oh, well: once you´re deprived of this basic freedom of just being natural - being a PERSON is way too much to ask for in countries like Egypt or others where mentalities and hearts seem to have been left to rot in Medieval times - you KNOW the value of it.

Happy Birthday to me - FREE as a BIRD, thanks God! - and may this new solar cycle bring everything I dream of and much more. It will. It does: right now. Amen!