Life is full of ironies, indeed.
Although I am not the kind of person to harm others or take revenge from the terrible things some of them have done to me, I seem to gather a lovely - almost silent though - group of enemies who seem to hate me from their guts for no apparent reason. But, looking closely, the reasons come -surprisingly - to light and all I can do is smile and accept that Life is ironic, often unfair and human beings are too complex to understand. Compassion for other´s fragility - as well as mine - also help.
Talking with a friend on the phone, she reminded me to be cautious about my next
BIG SHOW at "SALAMAT MASR FESTIVAL".
"Lots of people trying to screw you, you know that...be careful!" - She advised me with full conviction.
Yes, I know it but I tend to forget it. No matter how many times I received knives on my back, I tend to forget all about it. It s a question of human instinct and survival. If I remember all the times others harmed me for the sake of their pure evilness, I would be a hermit living in a cave, totally astray from this mad world.
You presume that, if you´re a good person who doesn´t kill a fly you may not have enemies but that´s not quite so.
Here´s some of the main reasons why I seem to gather a delightful group of (coward) enemies:
1. I don´t swallow frogs. Meaning that I am a sweet heart but I don´t take offenses or rude behavior from anyone. May that be a king, god or whoever. You disrespect me, you see another side of me (my street girl side that is more useful than "kleenex" on a Cairo Summer day). People often mistake kindness with weakness. BIG MISTAKE!
2. I am MYSELF and I recognize no authority but my own consciousness. I treat everybody with respect and expect the same treatment. When that doesn´t happen, the smoothest reaction I can handle is to give my back to that person and forget she/he exist.
3. I didn´t open my legs (excuse my french) to a LOT of powerful men that surround the Oriental Dance business in Cairo. They hoped, tried different approaches and tactics they were sure would work on the prey (me!) and got nothing but a kick in their butts in the end of the haunting trial. This has created a LOT of animosity regarding to my person.
As a DANCER in Cairo, you´re still supposed to sell your body in exchange for certain opportunities. As I insist on choosing the men I LIKE and, eventually, LOVE I enter a rare, dangerous realm of MARGINALITY that goes totally against this system. My bare existence and the fact that I will never bend my honor values pisses a lot of people off. Sorry, folks! The prostitute gene is not running in my veins. Very sorry for the inconvenience.
4. Dancers who could not be successful in their work hate me to their guts and make up incredible lies about me as in a way to compensate for their failure. Being successful without having a man on my back is a slap on the face of MANY, MANY people. Both men and women.
5. Indistinct people who wish they would have my own path and victories (without the sacrifices, hard work and struggle, of course) and are too weak to build their own path. Being a mirror of some people´s frustrations brings me an whole new bunch of enemies who hate me without a specific reason. Just hate me.:((
Now...this is how I see it:
1. I plan on giving my enemies a lot more reasons to dislike me. More success, achievements, LOVE and PASSION for my WORK and my LIFE. JOY and DIGNITY, above all.
2. I plan on being the HAPPIEST chick on earth so that you bite your nails and rip off a big deal of your own hair. I suggest you rip off your own pubic hair. I heard it s painful so you´ll not feel "the other pain" so deeply.
3. In my mind, this is how I see you all, dear enemies (check photo on the right):
(Wah, ah, ah, ah, wah ah aha aha aha aha....gutural, devilish laughter of mine):))